December 28, 2008

The Jonathan in that Boer War photograph is probably not the Jonathan that lives today -- fraudulently honored as the world's oldest creature.

"Since they have several giant tortoises on St Helena, they simply named the next largest one Jonathan. The date of 175 years old is being assumed because the Jonathan in the photograph of 1901 looks like the Jonathan of today. As they are very difficult to date, no one can say with any certainty that this current, reigning Jonathan is 176 or 150 or even 200."

Very difficult to date....
I guess I’m just like a turtle
That’s hidin’ underneath its hardened shell.
Whoa, whoa, oh yeah, like a turtle
Hidin’ underneath its hardened shell.
But you know I’m very well protected —
I know this goddamn life too well.

7 comments:

Unknown said...

The turtle lives twixt plated decks
That practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle,
In such a fix to be so fertile.

(Myself, I've never actually dated a turtle.)

blake said...

I think Jonathan and I could be Happy Together.

TMink said...

Come crown my brow with leaves of myrtle,
I know the tortoise is a turtle,
Come carve my name in stone immortal,
I know the turtoise is a tortle.
I know to my profound despair,
I bet on one to beat a hare,
I also know I’m now a pauper,
Because of its totley, turtley, torper.

O.N.

Wince said...

I guess I’m just like a turtle
That’s hidin’ underneath its hardened shell.
Whoa, whoa, oh yeah, like a turtle
Hidin’ underneath its hardened shell.
But you know I’m very well protected —
I know this goddamn life too well.



Do you mean like a frightened turtle?

George M. Spencer said...

The main problem with turtle soup is cleaning the turtle.

For the turtle, the main problem is that he gets his head cut off.

What's more, the turtle stays alive after it is dead, sometimes for as long as three days. In some Asian restaurants, you can drink a turtle's blood while its beating heart is presented to you on a plate.

Sweet dreams.

Synova said...

My mom once made turtle soup from a snapping turtle. She said she'd never do that again, and the taking three days to die part was the main reason, I think.

gefillmore said...

what emerged?-

the turtle from wherever or the fact that it might be an imposter-