Althouse: "Hey, Men of America..."

May 19, 2015

"Hey, Men of America..."

Hey, Men of America, I've been in airports all day and just made this for you. pic.twitter.com/eyMHIX9D41
— Andrew Exum (@ExumAM) September 1, 2014

71 comments:

rhhardin said...: I'm wearing 5" inseam shorts right now, as I do every day.

Who are the weird people who think I ought to please their fashion taste? Are they queer?; 5/19/15, 10:03 AM
Paddy O said...: Hey Andrew, is it 1945?; 5/19/15, 10:06 AM
Dr.D said...: Why is this a big deal? Women wear shorts wherever they want to, including some highly inappropriate places, but no one dares to criticize them for it. There really are more important matters to be concerned with today.; 5/19/15, 10:06 AM
Eric the Fruit Bat said...: I picked up some of those shorts from Cabela's recommended by rhhardin and his advice was spot on.

Thank you!; 5/19/15, 10:10 AM
Lauderdale Vet said...: I was in Disney all weekend. Couldn't imagine NOT wearing shorts while traipsing about the park.; 5/19/15, 10:12 AM
Paddy O said...: This insistence on wearing pants in "America" privileges a narrow conception of proper attire based on northern European dominance. It's a vestige of colonialism.

What did the Ancient Greeks wear? What did the Ancient Romans wear?

The Northeast and upper Midwest still assume some cultural control that attempts to regulate the narrative of style and fashion based on regionally specific climates.

More locally for my climate, what did the Tongva people wear?

You should be happy we in southern climates wear shirts!; 5/19/15, 10:16 AM
Paddy O said...: "Who are the weird people who think I ought to please their fashion taste?"

Oppressors.; 5/19/15, 10:18 AM
I Have Misplaced My Pants said...: I feel that women past a certain age shouldn't wear shorts either. Like past about college age.

And it's so hard to get the length right. Most women wear them too short and the hem hits right at the thickest part of the thigh which is not flattering. And much longer than that and you look like an old lady and might as well wear capris anyway.; 5/19/15, 10:19 AM
Big Mike said...: @Althouse, okay, you win. My shorts will gather dust in my closet right next to my ties.

(Except when I have to mow my lawn on a very not day.); 5/19/15, 10:29 AM
MadisonMan said...: The guy was in an airport.

I have to agree about shorts in airports, though. For all sexes. It's gross to sit next to a man's hairy, uncovered leg on a cramped plane. Or a woman's smooth leg. No thanks. Put on shorts.

I remember being in OHare once and seeing a woman whose only clothing up top was a strained-to-the-breaking point Swimsuit top (in bright pink), with too-small shorts as well. She was more than 100 pounds overweight. Imagined sitting next to that on a cramped commuter plane.; 5/19/15, 10:31 AM
Swifty Quick said...: I never wear cargo shorts when I fly, because they typically chill the cabin to the point where it's uncomfortable. Comfort is always the main consideration when it comes to wearing shorts.; 5/19/15, 10:35 AM
Michael said...: We are way past this being an issue. Too late. People wear pajamas on airplanes. Shorts. Tee shirts. Flip flops. Tattoos on faces, necks, arms, asses, ankles. They eat with their mouths open. They talk as they chew. They grip their forks like hammers. They scoop their food into their maws. They say motherfucker. They listen to crap and make you listen to it too. They cannot make a subject and verb agree.

Because they cannot be told what to do. They cannot be judged.

Too late to try and reverse course. Keep your dignity if you have any or know what it is.; 5/19/15, 10:35 AM
Brent said...: "It's gross to sit next to a man's hairy, uncovered leg on a cramped plane. Or a woman's smooth leg. No thanks. Put on shorts."

I don't get this comment that you parroted form a recent Althouse comment. Are you rubbing up to these people's bare legs? Because there is nothing gross about the site legs in particular. Do bear arms gross you out too? Necks? Burka anyone?; 5/19/15, 10:38 AM
jr565 said...: When I go to events I'm always the guy wearing jeans and not shorts, unlike most of my friends. however, that's just because I don't like wearing shorts, nut because I have an issue with guys in general wearing shorts. Sometimes shorts with a button down shirt looks pretty fashionable.
And certainly it's functional.
I just prefer to not wear shorts in public.; 5/19/15, 10:51 AM
MAJMike said...: Meh. I'll wear what I want, where I want, when I want. You're not in my rating chain and I'm retired.

Besides, I live in south Texas where the temperatures approach 100+ degrees on a regular basis. So I don't give a damn about your concepts of a fashion statement.; 5/19/15, 10:59 AM
Douglas B. Levene said...: Let's hear it from the ladies. What do you say, do you like seeing allegedly grown men traipse around city streets in shorts? Does it matter if they're gay or not?; 5/19/15, 11:01 AM
Clayton Hennesey said...: I picked up some of those shorts from Cabela's recommended by rhhardin and his advice was spot on.

Right. Cabelas' 5" trail shorts are the only way to go. Plus, one can just about stow a full sized weapon in the front pocket without printing.

I can understand, though, why those growing up in Canadian states like Wisconsin might have of necessity taken an alternate evolutionary path, including such practices as dry humping cocooned in clouds of fleece and down, for example.; 5/19/15, 11:02 AM
Ann Althouse said...: "Why is this a big deal? Women wear shorts wherever they want to, including some highly inappropriate places, but no one dares to criticize them for it. There really are more important matters to be concerned with today."

Women are criticized for wearing shorts... and for plenty else.

And I've always disliked the argument: something else is more important.

Of course, something else is more important. That would work on everything.; 5/19/15, 11:05 AM
Ann Althouse said...: Except that one thing that is the most important thing.

What the hell is that? I'd like to know.; 5/19/15, 11:05 AM
RonF said...: Are you an adult leader at Boy Scout camp where it's quite hot and you're out in the heat all day and shorts are part of the uniforming?

Yes - O.K.
No - Who cares WTF you think, anyway....; 5/19/15, 11:09 AM
tim in vermont said...: OK, I am over it now. I don't wear shorts in Vermont this time of year too often, unless playing golf, but it another few weeks, I will be in them until Labor Day. I just don't give a fuck what some young whippersnapper who hates my guts anyway just for being old and white think.; 5/19/15, 11:10 AM
Moose said...: Hey - if you see me in an airport mind your own damned business. You have to have something more important to concern yourself with. Weirdo.; 5/19/15, 11:11 AM
LarryK said...: There should be a few more offramps before getting to the "Put some damn pants on" command. Such as:

Are you riding a bike?

Are you sitting around the house, or in public?

If yes to "in public," did you have to run to the store quickly to pick up a necessary household item like cigars or beer?

And finally, do you have an Adonis-like bod that should be shared with the world?

If you answer no to all of the above, then yeah, wear pants.; 5/19/15, 11:15 AM
Kyzer SoSay said...: I hope that every day I wear shorts, our dearest hostess (bless her heart) gets a headache right around the afternoon, when headaches are the worst to get. As for the punk with the flow chart, I hope his seat decompresses. The world won't miss him.

I love wearing shorts. Gets my calves some sun and keeps the humidity in my crotch region better regulated on a hot summer day. Nothing worse than feeling sack sweat drip down your full-length jean clad legs and knowing that with shorts you'd be ever so much more comfortable.; 5/19/15, 11:17 AM
tim in vermont said...: This whole "no men in shorts thing" is just a conspiracy to keep our balls too hot and reduce our fertility! It's an attack on civilization, I tell you!; 5/19/15, 11:24 AM
tim in vermont said...: “In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.” - Thomas Jefferson

I'm with Tommy. Shorts in summer is a matter of principle!; 5/19/15, 11:27 AM
Paddy O said...: "What the hell is that? I'd like to know."

Proving someone else is wrong on the internet.; 5/19/15, 11:28 AM
Rick Caird said...: We could also add another block:

Do you live in the south and is it over 80 degrees? Then, go ahead.; 5/19/15, 11:28 AM
Tank said...: At the airport, I'm a lot more concerned about getting wedged in next to a 300 pounder than a slim, fit man or woman in shorts.

Oh .... FATTY TRIGGER WARNING !!!!; 5/19/15, 11:30 AM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: If it's good enough for BB King...

(dig those shoes, man!); 5/19/15, 11:40 AM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: Remember when "I don't fucking care if you like it" was a "you go, girl!" -worthy answer?; 5/19/15, 11:48 AM
n.n said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 5/19/15, 12:03 PM
n.n said...: Whatever happened to "keep Portland weird"? Does that only apply to fashion sense or other orientations too?; 5/19/15, 12:04 PM
traditionalguy said...: Exum reads Althouse too.

Rebels wear shorts with the long pockets to hold tools.; 5/19/15, 12:08 PM
Roughcoat said...: Are any of you familiar with Andrew Exum, the author of that quote? He's a Professional Asshole, Retired Military Variant--cut from the same mold as James Webb.; 5/19/15, 12:14 PM
buwaya said...: I wear them with my pith helmet, whenever I am inspired to oppress the natives, in my colonialist way.
Granted, its the natives of San Francisco, but these days they are the only natives one can oppress with this outfit.; 5/19/15, 12:15 PM
Sigivald said...: What's weird about fighting the Afrika Korps?; 5/19/15, 12:16 PM
averagejoe said...: Just be thankful that fashion hasn't rediscovered to the Elizabethan style of men in tights and codpieces.; 5/19/15, 12:34 PM
Larry J said...: Seriously, why should I give a damn about you not approving of me wearing what I want? If you don't like it, look the other way or shove it into the body orifice of your choice. When you live in a place where the temperature and humidity routinely get into the 90s (or higher), shorts are nearly essential. If you don't like it, tough shit.; 5/19/15, 12:38 PM
buwaya said...: Pipes go with shorts and pith helmets.
Not cigars. I was hoping for cigars but they just wont do. Cigars go with Cuban shirts and slacks.
A pipe may or may not be oppressive enough for San Francisco. I need to give it a try.; 5/19/15, 12:54 PM
Known Unknown said...: I usually eschew shorts unless it's sports-related, beach-related, or working-in-the-yard related.

I just don't like that way they look as much as pants.

But to each his own. Libertas!; 5/19/15, 1:16 PM
Alexander said...: And here I thought we weren't supposed to shame people for their clothes.

I haven't worn shorts since I was 16, unless I was at the gym or in water. And that's including summer in the deep south. I wish women would hold themselves to equally aggressive restrictions regarding sweats, flats, and short hair, but alas.; 5/19/15, 1:22 PM
tim in vermont said...: "de gustibus <strike>non</strike> est disputandum"; 5/19/15, 1:38 PM
tim in vermont said...: See, it's a class thing Monty didn't wear shorts.; 5/19/15, 1:40 PM
Amadeus 48 said...: Consider Good Ol' Charlie Brown of Peanuts fame.
1950s and 60s: Neurotic round-headed perpetual loser in short pants and tee shirt.
2015: men's fashion icon.

There is a lot of self-delusion on this thread.; 5/19/15, 1:48 PM
David said...: I was at Wal-Mart today. There are worse things than men in shorts.; 5/19/15, 1:49 PM
Ignorance is Bliss said...: Big Mike said...

@Althouse, okay, you win. My shorts will gather dust in my closet right next to my ties.

(Except when I have to mow my lawn on a very not day.)

Be careful. It's very dangerous to get your tie caught in the lawnmower!; 5/19/15, 1:49 PM
Bilwick said...: In the Sunbelt, Urban-Spawl, reading-books-is-for-sissies city where I am presently marooned, wearing shorts (even in winter) seems to be part of a middle-class conformist dress code. Usually it's khaki or olive-drab cargo shorts with blue polo shirts, often with flip-flops. It's sort of "the Alrightnik Uniform."; 5/19/15, 1:58 PM
David53 said...: I don't particularly like to wear shorts and don't buy them. But when my wife buys me a pair(why is it a pair?) and says, "You look good in those, you should wear them," I wear them. At least once. On an airplane.; 5/19/15, 1:59 PM
Anonymous said...: You should add question - is one of those sports golf? Yes - put on some damn pants.; 5/19/15, 2:02 PM
Dave in Tucson said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 5/19/15, 2:07 PM
tim in vermont said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 5/19/15, 2:10 PM
virgil xenophon said...: Dad wore shorts to play golf all his life and also all over our little rural college town in the 50s (causing a mild scandal) Echoing those here who wear them to run to the post office, etc, I'll plead guilty as well. (FWIW there was a big ad campaign in the early 60s for really rad colored & patterned tuxedos worn with matching Bermuda shorts (along with those flat, fan-shaped ties, remember?) but the trend never caught on. Playboy advertised them a lot, iirc, but I can't seem to find an exact example on Google/Bing; 5/19/15, 2:29 PM
SteveBrooklineMA said...: Men shouldn't wear boys' clothing, but it's okay if women do. Makes sense.; 5/19/15, 2:50 PM
readering said...: How many were wearing flats?; 5/19/15, 3:28 PM
tim in vermont said...: We could only be "delusional" if we imagined that we were somehow stylish.

We don't give a shit what you think.

Deluded about what you think.

Spot the difference!; 5/19/15, 3:52 PM
wildswan said...: I blame Pampers. They are so tight that men have taken to wearing loose clothes (without knowing why) for the rest of their lives.; 5/19/15, 4:05 PM
Rusty said...: Hey Andrew.
Fuck off.; 5/19/15, 4:28 PM
Andrew said...: What did the men in the Professor's family wear instead of shorts, plus fours?; 5/19/15, 4:30 PM
Alex said...: Once all the wars have been stopped, we can focus on shorts.; 5/19/15, 4:58 PM
Amadeus 48 said...: Tim--If you want to look like Charlie Brown, go right ahead.; 5/19/15, 5:10 PM
Tom said...: Ann, I live in Florida. We have 3 seasons: hot, sticky, and January. I am not wearing long pants for anything other than going to work.

BTW, I wear Hawaiian shirts a lot, too.; 5/19/15, 5:14 PM
Mark B said...: Andrew Exum, who blogs as Abu Muqawama, is reported today to have been selected for appointment to high office: "On the move. FP confirmed Tuesday morning that former Camp C-NAS think tanker and Army Ranger Andrew Exum is trading in his Abu Muqawama title to become Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Middle East Policy. He'll replace Matthew Spence, who had held the position since February 2012. Exum -- who once played paintball with Hezbollah in Beirut -- was recently a consultant at the Boston Consulting Group and special advisor for Middle East policy at the Pentagon, is a fluent Arabic speaker and holds a Ph.D. from King’s College." http://foreignpolicy.com/channel/the-cable/; 5/19/15, 5:17 PM
chickelit said...: I think the whole shorts thing is just an Althousian longing for men to be what they once were; just as men long for women to be what they were once.

Nothing more than that, but that's why she's so enigmatic and so persistent.; 5/20/15, 12:49 AM
tim in vermont said...: You know, I walk around all day worrying about what supercilious prigs think. You can't imagine the pain it causes me to find out that one of them doesn't approve of some aspect of my being.; 5/20/15, 8:17 AM
MacMacConnell said...: Hope & Change, good times good times.

http://shoeblogs.com/2011/01/07/great-moments-in-presidential-history/; 5/20/15, 8:22 AM
C R Krieger said...: Did I see where Exum has given up his AKA as Abu Muqawama to become DASD (for Middle East Policy)?

Regarding flying, you should NOT wear shorts, short sleeves or sandals or flip-flops. Period. The chances of the pilot porking the landing and fire ensuing is very small, but you want to be able to get off the airplane without too much problem from the fire. Cover up your body.

Cheers — Cliff; 5/20/15, 11:44 AM
C R Krieger said...: Sorry for the duplication. Mark B beat me to it, but then he may be closer to the pin than me.

Regards — Cliff; 5/20/15, 11:46 AM
Unknown said...: where's the question "Is it hot out?"; 5/20/15, 12:24 PM
mikee said...: I just have to mention that 501 Tactical is now offering the public an actual tactical kilt.

That's right, a KILT that is designed for use by any SWAT team member , Blackwater mercenary, high speed, low drag operator, or fat, middle aged white guy who owns a handgun.; 5/20/15, 1:13 PM
Bad Lieutenant said...: Additional box. Is this a free country? Yes, wear what you want. No, consult your master.; 5/21/15, 5:17 PM