April 10, 2015

Boy wakes from coma "addicted to cheese and swearing constantly."

"He had always like cheese but now he was obsessed with it — he even added it to his cereal... We asked the doctor about it and apparently it's quite normal for people to develop inappropriate or aggressive behaviour after waking up from a coma.  So while that explained the swearing, no one can explain the cheese."

25 comments:

Ignorance is Bliss said...

He should move to Wisconsin. He'd fit right in.

ALP said...

The boy has obviously seen the episode of "The Thick of It" where the Malcolm Tucker character is swearing and screaming at his assistant because he hasn't procured cheese for him fast enough. There is a lot going on in the final scene, but its essentially pandemonium with a Scotsman screaming "Where the fuck is my cheese?"

Simple.

YoungHegelian said...

Maybe in the astral nether zone his soul was in during his coma, he became possessed by the spirit of a sailor from Wisconsin.

That explains both swearing & the cheese, so I'm sticking with it.

Truthavenger said...

As I've gotten older, I've discovered that just about everything tastes better with cheese on it.

traditionalguy said...

He has now reverted to a Frenchman from a past life.

Brando said...

I love cheese and swearing, so if I ever get out of a coma I'll use the same excuse.

jimbino said...

"Cheese" is an ersatz swearword for "Jeesus."

mikeski said...

No one expects the Dairy Imposition.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I'm guessing that there are some pretty nasty withdrawal symptoms associated with going cold turkey on a cheese addiction.

TCR James said...

If I was his mom, I'd be less worried about the cheese addiction, and more worried about the chronic constipation he's about to get.

Chris N said...

Get this kid some f**kin' Gouda-Stat!

Thorley Winston said...

Cheese is the reason why cows will never be allowed to go extinct.

Ipso Fatso said...

I wonder if he is now obsessed with "cutting the cheese"? Not that would be obnoxious & funny!!!!

Tibore said...

HEEEEEY! Since when is swearing and cheese addiction evidence of traumatic brain injury?? Does this mean I gotta go get an MRI now? ;) :D

rhhardin said...

Romantic comedies sometimes have comas, a little less often than time travel but still more than you'd expect.

So far, cheese has not been an effect of it.

MaxedOutMama said...

Calcium and calcium pyruvate in particular are components of the Krebs cycle, which your body uses to make energy. Apples are also very high in calcium pyruvate.

His body has a deficiency for his current needs as it tries to rebuild itself, and so he probably is developing cravings for it.

David said...

Dress him up in some Packer Backer clothing and nobody will notice anything unusual.

SeanF said...

"...it's quite normal for people to develop inappropriate or aggressive behaviour after waking up from a coma" doesn't explain the cheese? Why not? Isn't it simply "inappropriate behavior"?

Of course, one could make the argument that that statement doesn't really "explain" either behavior, but I don't really see how it can be said to explain one but not the other.

Sam L. said...

The cheese abides, and on its own time, STRIKES!

MayBee said...

I can get behind that lifestyle.

Wince said...

Just been bound up lately. It’s driving me crazy. I’ve been eating a lot of cheese for some reason. I don't know what it is. I got a craving for the stuff. Do you think maybe that’s an allergy or somethin'?

Yeah. I don’t know, I can’t get enough cheese.

I feel like a big mouse.

Moneyrunner said...

Terri Schiavo was unavailable for comment.

Wince said...

Moe, Larry: the cheese! ...No! Limboiger.

SGT Ted said...

So, he woke up as a Packers fan?

Triangle Man said...

There are a handful of case reports in the medical literature of "gourmand syndrome" resulting from brain damage. I've wondered if something similar was at work with audiophiles.