January 31, 2015

"It was acceptable in those days to pass a woman on the street and say, 'Great hat.'"

Writes the New Yorker's Nick Paumgarten, speaking of a bygone era in New York City.

Is it really true that you can no longer say to a woman in a great hat "Great hat"? I think people do still do that, even in New York City. Am I delusional? Is it just something women can do to other women? Or is the real truth that women just don't wear great hats anymore?


66 comments:

Original Mike said...

"Is it really true that you can no longer say to a woman in a great hat "Great hat"?"

I imagine 9 times out of 10 it's OK, but why risk it?

traditionalguy said...

If a white man says that to a stranger it is at least stalking speech.

YoungHegelian said...

I think people do still do that, even in New York City.

That's now considered poor taste in the Big Apple. But "Hey Sweet-cakes, thumbs up on the hooters!" is still au courant among the smart set.

Cheryl said...

I hope you can still do that! Or "great shoes" or "I love your coat." It's as much fun to give one of these surprise compliments as it is to get one.

paminwi said...

My goodness, it is now inappropriate to give someone a compliment? I do not believe it.

D.E. Cloutier said...

If a guy is wearing a $3,000 suit, Gucci shoes, and an expensive watch and tie, he can say almost anything and she will smile.

It works in Rome, Paris, London, Hong Kong, Singapore, and even in Cairo and New York City. "'Cause every girl [is] crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man."

- DEC (Jungle Trader)

Anonymous said...

I once had a (cute) guy say to me, "Great cat," when he spotted the new kitten I hadn't wanted to leave home alone peeking out of my jacket.

Close enough?

Guildofcannonballs said...

At the date the Coen's released Miller's Crossing, wisened citizens declared hat talk high, as in "don't give 'em the high hat."

High hat became ostracised, frightened, and further from Thurber than ever before.

Jon Polito Sir.

LYNNDH said...

ABSOLUTLY no way I will compliment a woman (other than my wife and close friends) on what they are wearing or how they look. In business world and I imagine in schools at all levels that is an open invitation for a sexual harassment complaint.

Guildofcannonballs said...

To pass and then say huh?

Why not say before passing, or while passing?

Holes so big gaping lacks sufficient penetration of metaphorical meaning.

YoungHegelian said...

Then again, sometimes you'd really wish strangers NOT to comment on your sartorial decisions.

One of my female co-workers in days past liked to dress either "haute" or "edgy" for work. One day, wearing one of her "edgy" outfits that featured fish-net stockings, the woman sitting next her on the metro turned to her & said "You look like a whore!"

Actually, she did look like a whore. You know, kinda, sorta, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but.....

Guildofcannonballs said...

"It was acceptable whilst passing..."

Guildofcannonballs said...

Upon the consecration of the passing act, times previous took offense to any deriding of (or to indeed) the complimentory nature of one declaiming "jolly right nice hat madam."

Guildofcannonballs said...

I can say anything with a smile; Others can't say shit regardless of their facial muscle activity.

Known Unknown said...

I once had a (cute) guy say to me, "Great cat," when he spotted the new kitten I hadn't wanted to leave home alone peeking out of my jacket.


At least he didn't say "great pussy!"

sinz52 said...

I haven't seen a woman's hat worth complimenting in ages.

Fancy hats for women seem to have gone the way of cigarette holders.


Guildofcannonballs said...

An important point: we here are different. If we see a poll on Ace's website or talk about how cool Walker is, do not extrapolate into "the frontrunner don't win yo, I been around ?$!)6&!?"

Yes, you are correct, and have been around, but here's the kicker: Jeb or Christie or just very recently Our Man Mitt was the frontrunner.

So stats are "correct" but they mislead if allowed.

Walker wins this bitch and tames it for decades.

For LIV, Walker is Annakin to Luke. Skywalker.

My Kochs listen and understand, hence profit from, the abyss of totalitarianism by fighting, winning, inspiring, and passing.

Guildofcannonballs said...

Bassist from Dropkick Murphy's paid my tab at Three Dogs in Highlands.

Nice guy. I tried to pay for a shot for him after he paid about an $80 tab for my friend and I, I argued with him, the bassist, he acquiesced, I was happy.

Got back to my seat thirty seconds later and my $20 for the shots was laid in front of me on the bar.

Classy to me. Nice guy.

Said he would put a little green clover sticker on his bass. My buddy got it in Ireland, after he showed the bassist his tattoo from Ireland, the bassist was as friendly as I can be, if I really want to.

Lewis Wetzel said...

"It was acceptable in those days to pass a woman on the street and say, 'Great hat.'"
Yet, even in those days, only a boor would pass a woman on the street and say "nice wig!".
Or 'nice bra!' or 'nice falsies!'. Why? I don't know.

Mark Daniels said...

I agree with you. People make similar passing comments to people they don't know in such informal ways all the time, at least in my experience.

From Inwood said...

Lynndh

See:

Above the Law: Law School Dean Urges Students To Stop Making ‘Wildly Inappropriate’ Sexist Comments About Female Professor

wildswan said...

There have always been hysterical neurotic women. The question is: why are their delusions now the delusions of the culture? And why is their hysteria the way regular people want to talk? Just because there is a new sociological viewpoint - lyotardist or whatever - that doesn't really explain refusing to listen. The new sociology could just as easily suggest listening closely to everyone. Sometimes I think that lefties get savaged for the wrong thoughts in their little lefty cells and they've spread a fashion for talking like a lefty re-education cell leader.

gregwithtwogs said...

Women don't wear great hats or even hats anymore, unless it's a baseball cap or it is cold. Even then, I doubt that I would say anything regardless since I would fear that I would be thought of as a sexual predator only worthy of arrest.

rhhardin said...

I bet hats are vagina symbols in Freud, without checking the list.

Laslo Spatula said...

I often compliment women on the street about their yoga pants.

Sometimes I will follow them for blocks to pay the compliment.

Sometimes even up a flight or two of stairs.

I am too much the gentleman to mention 'camel toe', even when being slapped.


I am Laslo.

richard mcenroe said...

"But "Hey Sweet-cakes, thumbs up on the hooters!" is still au courant among the smart set. "

You never told us you'd met Joe Biden...

RecChief said...

do women war hats anymore? outside of Derby Day I mean.

Unknown said...

I knew I was in a good place (Texas) the morning I was standing on a street corner opposite an exceptionally attractive woman in a blue dress. Some one near me wolf-whistled. Being from up-tight Midwest I cringed and awaited her scorn.

Instead, she asked 'Is that for me?' (affirmative answer)… and then drawled 'Why, thank you Sugar'.

What a pleasant world it could be.

Laslo Spatula said...

There is something sexy about a woman wearing nothing but a hat.

Because she is pretty much naked, I suppose.

I am Laslo.

Lewis Wetzel said...

RHardin wrote:
"I bet hats are vagina symbols in Freud, without checking the list."
Well, geez, no wonder woman haven't worn hats since Freud found discovered this.

kzookitty said...

I absolutely agree with Jungle Trader, though I would phrase it differently: big city women likes them Sugar Daddies.

rhhardin bets hats are vagina symbols in Freud, I'm betting they're condom symbols in Lazlo Spatula.

kzookitty

ndspinelli said...

Nice muff.

David said...

You are not delusional. I compliment women that I do not know quite often. It always seems to be appreciated. Occasionally I will tell a women she is beautiful, and that is really appreciated.

When I was younger and not so perceptibly out of the running as now, I did the same thing, not always with pure motives. The reactions have not changed much. The women like it.

Of course I'm not in New York much anymore, and maybe it's different there. Or maybe is just the particular men and women that the writer hangs out with.

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

Great cat? SOJO, you had a winner in your sights that day. A loser would have said "great little pussy." The winner thinks that, but restrains himself.

John henry said...

Can us Mackay fans tell a woman "What a shocking bad hat!"?

John Henry

CatherineM said...

You can say that, of course, To suggest otherwise is stupid.

There is nothing crude about, "great hat," or dress or jacket.

Ann, are you trolling?

Kirk Parker said...

These days, it's more commonly "Nice thong!"

Kirk Parker said...

SOJO,

I'm sure what the gentleman really said was, "Nice pussy!"

Right?

Laslo Spatula said...

I am rather surprised that Althouse did a post on hats and didn't reference Dylan's "Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat".

Really: the Dylan reference is right there: he is complimenting a woman on her hat:

"Well, you look so pretty in it
Honey, can I jump on it sometime?"

Can a man still use that as a compliment? I mean, the "jump on it sometime" part -- or was that something only Dylan could get away with? And perhaps only the YOUNG Dylan, at that.

For that matter, how about:

"You know it balances on your head
Just like a mattress balances
On a bottle of wine"

What young woman wouldn't want to hear that from a curious stranger in sunglasses, big hair and a polka-dot shirt? What if the compliment came from a man in a coon-skin cap by the big pen?

Men can appreciate a good hat. Two more words: Raspberry Beret.

I am Laslo.






Laslo Spatula said...

Indeed, Bob Dylan himself has been known to wear a hat or two: witness The Thunderclap.

I am Laslo.

Phil 314 said...

May be its a subtle compliment of one's spouse.

rhhardin said...

Randy Newman, You Can Leave Your Hat On

Laslo Spatula said...

So I'm thinking to myself: I bet Scarlett Johansson looks good in a hat. Scroll down: yes, Scarlett Johannson looks good in a hat. So does Natalie Portman and Jessica Alba.

I usually don't use the internet to find pictures of these women in clothing.

I am Laslo.

Laslo Spatula said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laslo Spatula said...

Theatre Folk have other uses for a hat. I want to know Scarlett Johannson's fear: I am sure I can comfort her.

I am Laslo.

Laslo Spatula said...

Bob Dylan singing while Scarlett Johannson cavorts in a sixties daydream manner. Pretty pretty.

I am Laslo.

CStanley said...

Once when driving my husband's SUV I got out to pump gas and a guy at the next pump commented, "Nice rack!"

I made a split second decision to play it straight and discussed the utility of our Thule bike rack.

kzookitty said...

CStanley: just what did you think I was talking about?

kzookitty

chillblaine said...

Women are more comfortable hearing this from other women.

Coming from a man, it might be seen by a "reasonable woman" to be sexual harassment and a likely prelude to violent sexual assault.

Known Unknown said...

My advice to a young man would be to compliment a women's shoes. Shoes are often an extension of a woman's personality.

It also shows that you are looking at more than just her tits and ass.

Eric said...

I actually said this to a woman (I don't know her) last week. She seemed happy that I noticed.

Wince said...

"Nice Beaver".

Ann Althouse said...

"Can a man still use that as a compliment? I mean, the "jump on it sometime" part -- or was that something only Dylan could get away with? And perhaps only the YOUNG Dylan, at that."

Bottle of wine = penis symbol in "It balances on your head just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine," which of course means it doesn't balance on her head at all, i.e., her hat/vagina belongs on his head/penis.

By the way, no kidding now, "It balances on your head just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine" has been my favorite Bob Dylan line for years and years -- decades.

Ann Althouse said...

"My advice to a young man would be to compliment a women's shoes. Shoes are often an extension of a woman's personality."

Shoes are definitely vagina symbols in Freudian interpretation. The excitement of the foot held inside the shoe is the excitement of sexual intercourse. We all know that!

Ann Althouse said...

"My advice to a young man would be to compliment a women's shoes. Shoes are often an extension of a woman's personality."

Shoes are definitely vagina symbols in Freudian interpretation. The excitement of the foot held inside the shoe is the excitement of sexual intercourse. We all know that!

Anonymous said...

The Pillbox Hat has been explained before in these very pages.

I am not Laslo.

Anonymous said...

Actually, this one: The Pillbox Hat has been explained before in these very pages.

I am still not laslo.

Mary Martha said...

I wear hats often and strangers often compliment me on them.

Likely mostly because they are startled to see anyone wear a hat that isn't a baseball cap.

I am with Cheryl that giving surprise compliments is fun. It can brighten a strangers day - and your own.

William said...

I thought woman's hats were only worn on New Yorker covers, like the way that Hassidics only kiss black women on New Yorker covers. Thanks for setting me straight Mary Martha.

jr565 said...

I suppose it's better than "Damn look at them titties!"

jr565 said...

"
Shoes are definitely vagina symbols in Freudian interpretation. The excitement of the foot held inside the shoe is the excitement of sexual intercourse. We all know that!"

Do people still take Freud seriously?

jr565 said...

Speaking of Hats, here's an oldie by the Kinks about buying hats:

http://youtu.be/5DdlUJTycKo

LIke the Kudzu's.

Phil 314 said...

Betamax and Laslo on the same thread.

Well that shot that theory.

the gold digger said...

I wear great hats and I get complimented on them all the time. I also get complimented on my shoes. I was waiting for the bus one day and was wearing my fabulous heels with the blue Pucci-esque design and a man who looked like a Harley biker, except he was in a car, rolled down his window and shouted at me, "Great shoes!" And he was right.

Megaera said...

As a practical matter, large exotic hats (like the Gainsborough and Edwardian styles) went out with the structural hair styles that supported and allowed anchorage for them. They were weighty and unbalanced, and had to be held in place with multiple steel hatpins, often 10 or more inches long, and short of driving these into the scalp, they had to be run under coils of hair to hold the hat in place against wind and gravity. What ultimately killed the exotic hat was the short smooth post WWI hairstyles and the fatal problem of 'hat hair' -- when you take off a hat, the hair underneath generally looks lousy, compressed and rumpled, and in serious need of remediation. Only the movies can elide over this problem successfully. Or a ladies' maid, if you carry one around with you, like some Edwardian dowager.